A Love Beyond Control
by SeiyaPoop
Summary: What happens when Seiya and his past affect Usagi more than she could ever imagine?
1. Seiya Comes Back

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON.

**A/N:** I had this fic finished already but I am changing little things here and there but it's basically the same thing. I hope I only make it a better. I'm fixing a lot of things because it obviously needed a lot of work. Well I'm also doing a second part to this story since, I admit, it was needed. I was really close to changing the title but it does link in with what is going on. Hmm... don't know what I should rate it yet but I'll definitely let you guys know if there are any changes!  
Also! Keep in mind this is after the sailor moon anime ending and Usagi is now an adult and not a teenage girl. Anyway I hope you enjoy! =^.^=

**Warning: **This is a Seiya/Usagi fic but there will be minor Mamoru/Usagi for obvious reasons. Everything comes in good time, friends ;)

* * *

**A Love Beyond Control**

By: ladymoon

* * *

"Mamooo-chan!" the cheerful high pitch voice filled the air.

Mamoru saw his girlfriend running his way which immediately brightened up his face. The girl was nearly 20 yet her sweet goofball self was a trait which seemed was there to stay. It was something he loved and always would.

The air outside was peaceful, occasionally a soft breeze would stir up the leaves making them dance around the love couples appreciating the park.

"Usako" his peach lips formed into smile when she reached him. "What brings you here?"

"Heh" she giggled, hiding her smile behind her thin slender fingers. "I'm running a few errands for my mama," she looked up with a smitten smile accompanied by a small bloom to her cheeks. "And you?" As soon as she had spotted the familiar slender figure, she raced towards the man with the book in his hand. He looked concentrated on it as he sat on the bench but Usagi was too excited to see him to question if it was a good idea to interrupt him.

"I had to get out of my place, I couldn't really concentrate on my studies so I decided to study out here, the weather is quite soothing."

"Mm-hm" Usagi agreed looking around the park, couples hugging and laughing, children chasing after frisbees and balls, it was truly a beautiful day. A smile formed on her lips as she appreciated the contentment, it had been years since the battle with Galaxia and the world was as peaceful as it would ever get. She caught Mamoru's smile and offered to leave since she was busy as well but the man caught her by surprise.

"Wait" he pulled her arm gently but with enough force to bring Usagi towards him. Their lips met and Usagi's cheeks reddened in delight. Some time had passed since Usagi and her boyfriend had had time to spent together alone, especially getting intimate like this with one another. Their lives had become hectic and time became limited. Both decided to bask in the moment and tuned out the world around them. Usagi felt Mamoru's tongue and widened her mouth, granting him access and intermingling it with her own. Usagi was more mature now and being together for such a long time opened up their relationship in more ways than one. They had slowly been exploring their limits every rare time they had to be alone.

Mamoru tasted her sweetness, breathed in her scent, felt the smoothness of her neck, and felt his restraint wearing thin. He felt Usagi's run up his chest and around his neck and his heart beat tripled in speed. Mamoru was a respectful and patient man. He knew this wasn't the time to be a hormonal teenager, not when his ruling days were apparently around the corner, but _he was _a man after all. He missed her more each day and every single time he got to spend more time with her he craved her presence even more. His feelings for the girl ran deeper than he ever imagined possible but he needed to remember what kind of person he was.

_'What is he doing? What am I doing? Why can't I stop?' _Usagi wondered where this was heading but she couldn't bring herself to pull away. She contemplated whether this was some kind of signal Mamoru was giving her. Testing her if she was a grown up, mature woman who was soon to become the queen.  
She giggled at her thoughts causing Mamoru to pull away.

"Did I do something?" he gulped.

Usagi eyes ate at his beautiful features. His concerned and embarrassed face was beyond endearing, his lips looked soft and were still wet from the kiss. It's as if they were calling out to her, she yearned for more. Usagi didn't answer him, she only tippy-toed and -

"USAGI!" Minako and Rei yelled.

Usagi felt the blood drain from her body in less than a second. Both Mamoru and Usagi's faces flooded bright red and both flew as far away as they could from each other.

"It was all him" Usagi crossed her arms, closed her eyes, and looked away.

"Oh please" Mamoru threw a sour look at her.

"It looked like you were clinging on to him like a -"

"If you excuse me-" Usagi interrupted Rei before her humiliation multiplied. "I have things to do and places to go-" she began to walk with confidence by her side and was soon betrayed by her own clumsiness.  
After hitting the ground, she gulped and sniffed, feeling the tears begin to flood in her eyes. She reminded herself of her age and how far she had come (even Luna was proud of her growth) and sought out the will to turn back and smile at her audience all before she heard them snickering all together.  
'_EVEN MAMO-CHAN?' _she roared inside her head. Without a care, she quickly got on her feet.  
"Hmph!" her high pitch voice interrupted the chortle and she began to walk off.

"Usaaaagi" they all pleaded but she didn't stop.

'_This is so annoying, I can't grow up if they keep treating me that way!' _She kept talking to herself and hissing profanities. Her pace had quickened as well as her irritation, she wasn't sure why she was so annoyed but didn't try to think too much of it. Usagi stopped at the crosswalk waiting for the green go, her eyes wondered in front of her and when they got ahold of something beyond her belief, her feet froze just when she was about to cross. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers and felt like something had beat the air out of her body and forgot to breathe for a few seconds, the intensity of her shock had left her cold as ice. Her eyes were locked on _him,_ in the midst of the crowd she had managed to spot him. He glowed above everyone else, there wasthe man she always assumed she'd never see again, the one who once made her question her heart, the one who was once her best friend.

"Seiya…" Usagi managed to squeeze out. A trembling fist made it's way to her chest and she gripped on to her shirt, her heart burned and she didn't want to admit why. Even though Usagi was still a ditz, she had grown in many ways. She understood things she never did before. She reminisced the things she would feel around the pop star, all the emotions and memories came rushing back to her as if they had never left. Now that she understood those emotions she felt them to be stronger. Usagi felt a cold breeze brush up behind her, causing the small hairs behind her neck to stand, and goosebumps rise from her skin. She shivered at the change of weather. It was like a ghost from the past had returned to haunt her.  
As she stood across from the man she had once spent everyday with, she was greeted with the same feeling in her chest as the day she saw him leave. Usagi gulped the storm of emotions overwhelming her insides and her knees grew weak.  
Usagi's eyes were locked on Seiya, she stared as the wind played with his dark, beautiful hair which danced around his milky white skin. She gazed at his deep ocean blue eyes which still kept the same shine as before. She would be lying if she said she had never wished for his return but as time went by her mind slowly put that hope in a vault she would only open in her dreams. The image of him after all these years began to fade as if he had never existed but his glowing eyes always pulled through.

Seiya tried to handle the commotion the crowd around him was causing. He was appreciative that he had not been forgotten after all these years but good god he needed some space! He attempted to answer all the questions that were being thrown at him from every direction but frankly, his irritation was growing. He carelessly looked away, his mind jumbled from all the chaos. His eyes ran past someone standing across the street quickly returning to her as his brain caught up to him.  
_'It's her' _Seiya's heart throbbed at the sight before him. So long he had imagined how different she would look, and to his surprise nothing had. Seiya gulped, he was eager to talk to her, feel her presence around him. He had no idea know how he could've lasted so long without seeing his close friend. Seiya's feet instinctively ran and fought their way through the crowd. He ran across the street, ignoring the honking from cars and trucks.

Usagi felt something grab her hand and she flew out of sight. When her mind caught up to her she realized the man she had been gazing at had managed to fight the herd and reach her. She stared at the back of his head with a mixture of a shocked, happy, and scared expression.

Seiya came across a dark alley, he crouched down behind the dumpsters and nodded up to Usagi for her to do the same. Seiya covered her mouth with his hand as she did so.  
"Shh.." he whispered as he peeked at the street. He noticed the stampede of fans and reporters run past the alley and sighed in relief. He turned back to Usagi and to his dismay, found how many inches away he was to her. He felt his cheeks burn up and immediately pulled back.

Both were attempting to catch their breaths from the adrenaline of the run and the shock of their reunion. They stood staring at one other, breathing a little too hard and searching for what to say to break the eager silence.

"Seiya…" Usagi found the words first.

Seiya kept his eyes locked on to hers with a constipated expression, he had almost forgotten how sweet and high pitched her voice was._ 'Talk you moron.'_

Usagi questioned his silence.

_'Great. The first thing I do after so long of not seeing her is freak her out.' _Seiya roared to himself.

"Are-Are you ok?" Usagi was beginning to wonder if this really was him or if her mind was playing tricks on her and she was now talking to a stranger who looked nothing like Seiya.

"Odango" Seiya blurted out and smirked at her awkwardly. This wasn't how he'd hoped he'd respond but at least he had managed himself to breathe and speak to her.

The simple term of endearment was enough to make her weak in the knees again, she wasn't going insane and this was really him. The whirlpool of emotions threatening to leave her powerless.

"I'm sorry. I just haven't seen you in so long." Seiya cleared his throat, regaining his appealing confidence and beamed at her. "You haven't changed at all Odango."

They were simple words, yet they were destroying her on the inside. This wasn't normal behavior at all. She tried to convince herself that this would be her exact same reaction as if she saw Taiki or Yaten, she missed all of them.

Seiya began to wonder why Usagi stayed as still as stone and was staring intently at him. It almost seemed to him as if she wanted to hug him or kiss him even. Shoving the ridiculous thought aside, Seiya agreed that she was only testing to see if he was real. It was understandable, after all he had shown up out of thin air. He cleared his throat once again bringing her out of her stupor. _  
_

"Oh!" Usagi gasped covering her mouth. "Is there something going on? Is Earth in danger?"

Seiya sighed, he wished him being here didn't mean trouble to her but was glad she was back to coherence. "Don't worry everything is fine."

Usagi puffed her cheeks and exhaled, feeling stupid for not inquiring about it before.  
"Then... why are you here Seiya?" She tilted her head and stared into his eyes, now that her earlier question was answered, she somehow felt more worried to hear his answer.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Hopefully interest in the story grows by the chapter. Until next time folks!


	2. You Are Free

**A/N**: Thank you for your reviews and messages! (Also for adding the story and myself to your tracking lists!) They mean a lot and keep me going. Much love! I promise to try my best to keep you're interest growing. Happy reading!

* * *

**A Love Beyond Control**

By: Konako

* * *

It had been years after the battle against Galaxia and it genuinely felt as though peace came to stay. All the scouts began engaging in things they each enjoyed and began living their own dreams. Usagi couldn't be happier for them. She promised she was fine whenever the scouts found her excluded of a lot of things, even if it did make her feel left out. Usagi figured it was time for her to start preparing to rule Crystal Tokyo in the near future. After many attempts of pulling her cute immature habits behind her, she finally grew the self discipline she lacked and began doing things to strengthen herself in every possible way.

Mamoru and Usagi couldn't be any happier, actually they _could_ but their relationship was just beginning to stabilize itself. Chibiusa hadn't payed them a visit ever since the incident with Nehelenia. And Mamoru didn't return to America, or at least not yet he had said to himself. He still carried a strong desire to go but after all the trouble they had gone through he didn't want to leave Usagi for now. The idea wasn't lost, he was an intellectual man he enjoyed expanding his mind more than anything. _One day.._

Healer and Maker were cheerfully restoring their planet along with their princess. Fighter on the other hand wasn't pepped up much. After they had returned from Earth, Fighter's spirit slowly began to decay. She helped her planet, a lot, but she didn't speak much, she even hid her body under a dark cloak as if repulsed by it.

Sailor Star Fighter isolated herself in a dark room everyday when there was no duty assigned to her. Her heart and mind weren't the same anymore and the thought that her life didn't seem to have any purpose anymore ate at her. She starred down at her chest and hissed.

Fighter starred outside her window, she didn't look over her word, no she gazed out into the stars feeling the power within them. Feeling their warmth and their potential.

Dark brows furrowed. Ever since she could remember she felt something strange within her. Some potential she could never unlock but knew lived inside of her.

_"I wonder why I always feel like this... watching over the stars... like it's my responsibility?.." _At first she assumed the rest of the star lights felt the same way but as she grew she felt that kind of over protective feeling grow stronger. Lately though, the sensation kept intensifying at shocking rate. Not giving it much thought he ignored it and kept it to herself.

Healer and Maker interrupted her thoughts by rushing inside her room.

"Fighter!" They somewhat panted, "the princess is on her way. Drop that asshole attitude for a few minutes and don't hurt-"

"Healer, Maker, I need to speak with Fighter… alone" her gentle eyes pointed at the door.

Both nodded and shot a threatening look at Fighter on their way out.

Fighter returned to looking out the window, feeling completely unmoved by their threats.

She remained still and quiet, returning to synchronizing herself to the shinning stars once again, feeling the depths of their light.

Kakyuu's fists were balled up in front of her, starring at the ground, she searched for the corrects words to say.

"Fighter.." her tone was soft, frightened even.

Fighter blinked, exiting her trance, she knew she felt compassion for her princess but up to years which had felt like eternity of being in a hell hole, the will just left her.

"…" she breathed out, "our people keep questioning me about you. _"What's wrong with fighter? Why is she different? Why is she lifeless?_" It breaks my heart, frankly th-"

"That I'm failing you as a servant?" The dark haired woman interrupted.

"No! That you've turned like this! I hate having to fake a smile and lie to them. I love you Fighter more than anything! Please do this for me, come.." Kakyuu took Fighter's hand. "- With me, just once. Socialize with everyone, we miss our sweet, goofy Fighter." Kakyuu blinked a few times clearing her blurry vision.

Fighter's brows furrowed.

"You're just not here anymore! You help here and there but without a word, without an expression, and then you come back here and lock yourself in the darkness! All by yourself! I thought you would like to be alone for a while but this is- …I can't stand it anymore!"

The deep ocean blue eyes widened, she had never heard her princess go that hysterical. She really was an asshole.

"Princess.." Fighter walked up to her and caressed her wet, smooth cheekbone. She leaned down and kissed the tears on her face which she had caused.

"I'm sorry I'm an idiot.. I'm weak." His eyes darkened. "I'm embarrassed of how weak I am. I should get over all this already but I'm a weak bastard. I feel, I feel embarrassed of my body, I know that sounds absurd but deep in this heart I know that this isn't where I belong. I feel like a prisoner in here and-" Her eyes drowned in sorrow and she gritted her teeth in agitation.

"I don't mind serving you. I love you Princess but deep inside my soul nothing feels right here.. I feel lost and so ..so" she began panting as she felt the tears beginning to accumulate.

"And her…" Fighter grunted and punched the wall. "These stupid feelings that I can't get out of my head! I thought I'd start new again, get her out of my god damn mind as you and I , Healer and Maker built our lovely planet back to how it belongs. Since we fought Galaxia my heart has been burning, like it needs to be unleashed of a power I'm unaware of. Something about her makes something inside of me start pulsating a feeling I can't even control."

Fighter was drenched in tears, she was pouring everything she was holding inside of her to her princess. It was a lot of accumulated emotion that it just came out jumbled and confused. She felt pathetic, but it felt good to let something out, what she could at least.

" I thought I could manage but I failed, I'm so sorry, I guess I'm not as strong as I brag. I just..I want to die..It sickens me that I feel so pathetic and embarrassed of myself for a reason I don't even understand. Since when the hell am I such a pansy? All this going on inside me is too much and I can't grow the fuck up! I'm a disgrace aren't I? Please princess set me free, from my own misery. Please…" the sobbing strengthened.

"I can't do this anymore…princess..I need her, and I don't have the face to look at her after how sick I make myself.. please, rip this heart out.."

"Fighter" Kakyuu slapped her as hard as she could, this was absolutely absurd. How could she ask such a thing. It broke her heart to pieces so see someone she loved so much in such state but this wasn't Fighter, death never a way out. "Don't ever say that again." For the first time Kakyuu's tone was more of a threat than an order.

Kakyuu grabbed Fighter's arm pulling her against herself. Fighter's eyes widened when she realized they're lips had met. It felt odd, like a lot of emotion behind it. It almost felt like a good bye. Figher was stuck between getting slapped and getting kissed and figuring out what expression was suitable for having that done in no less than a few seconds.

Kakyuu had taken Fighter's first kiss as a goodbye to both her and the feelings she felt for Fighter. She realized that letting her go was the best thing to do. It wasn't safe but she couldn't keep her here forever.

With the kiss, the Starlights brooch shattered and the light dimmed. Seiya looked at it and then to his body.

"You're free, Seiya."

_"I can't tell him about his past.. I can't tell him what I know. It's too dangerous.. But… I'm sorry Tomoko. I just can't stand to see him like this…  
Perhaps I'm the weakest ruler of all..._


	3. It's a Date!

**A/N**: Thank you for your reviews and messages! (Also for adding the story and myself to your tracking lists!) They mean a lot and keep me going. Much love! I promise to try my best to keep you're interest growing. Happy reading!

* * *

**A Love Beyond Control**

By: Konako

* * *

It had been years after the battle against Galaxia and it genuinely felt as though peace came to stay. All the scouts began engaging in things they each enjoyed and began living their own dreams. Usagi couldn't be happier for them. She promised she was fine whenever the scouts found her excluded of a lot of things, even if it did make her feel left out. Usagi figured it was time for her to start preparing to rule Crystal Tokyo in the near future. After many attempts of pulling her cute immature habits behind her, she finally grew the self discipline she lacked and began doing things to strengthen herself in every possible way.

Mamoru and Usagi couldn't be any happier, actually they _could_ but their relationship was just beginning to stabilize itself. Chibiusa hadn't payed them a visit ever since the incident with Nehelenia. And Mamoru didn't return to America, or at least not yet he had said to himself. He still carried a strong desire to go but after all the trouble they had gone through he didn't want to leave Usagi for now. The idea wasn't lost, he was an intellectual man he enjoyed expanding his mind more than anything. _One day.._

Healer and Maker were cheerfully restoring their planet along with their princess. Fighter on the other hand wasn't pepped up much. After they had returned from Earth, Fighter's spirit slowly began to decay. She helped her planet, a lot, but she didn't speak much, she even hid her body under a dark cloak as if repulsed by it.

Sailor Star Fighter isolated herself in a dark room everyday when there was no duty assigned to her. Her heart and mind weren't the same anymore and the thought that her life didn't seem to have any purpose anymore ate at her. She starred down at her chest and hissed.

Fighter starred outside her window, she didn't look over her word, no she gazed out into the stars feeling the power within them. Feeling their warmth and their potential.

Dark brows furrowed. Ever since she could remember she felt something strange within her. Some potential she could never unlock but knew lived inside of her.

_"I wonder why I always feel like this... watching over the stars... like it's my responsibility?.." _At first she assumed the rest of the star lights felt the same way but as she grew she felt that kind of over protective feeling grow stronger. Lately though, the sensation kept intensifying at shocking rate. Not giving it much thought he ignored it and kept it to herself.

Healer and Maker interrupted her thoughts by rushing inside her room.

"Fighter!" They somewhat panted, "the princess is on her way. Drop that asshole attitude for a few minutes and don't hurt-"

"Healer, Maker, I need to speak with Fighter… alone" her gentle eyes pointed at the door.

Both nodded and shot a threatening look at Fighter on their way out.

Fighter returned to looking out the window, feeling completely unmoved by their threats.

She remained still and quiet, returning to synchronizing herself to the shinning stars once again, feeling the depths of their light.

Kakyuu's fists were balled up in front of her, starring at the ground, she searched for the corrects words to say.

"Fighter.." her tone was soft, frightened even.

Fighter blinked, exiting her trance, she knew she felt compassion for her princess but up to years which had felt like eternity of being in a hell hole, the will just left her.

"…" she breathed out, "our people keep questioning me about you. _"What's wrong with fighter? Why is she different? Why is she lifeless?_" It breaks my heart, frankly th-"

"That I'm failing you as a servant?" The dark haired woman interrupted.

"No! That you've turned like this! I hate having to fake a smile and lie to them. I love you Fighter more than anything! Please do this for me, come.." Kakyuu took Fighter's hand. "- With me, just once. Socialize with everyone, we miss our sweet, goofy Fighter." Kakyuu blinked a few times clearing her blurry vision.

Fighter's brows furrowed.

"You're just not here anymore! You help here and there but without a word, without an expression, and then you come back here and lock yourself in the darkness! All by yourself! I thought you would like to be alone for a while but this is- …I can't stand it anymore!"

The deep ocean blue eyes widened, she had never heard her princess go that hysterical. She really was an asshole.

"Princess.." Fighter walked up to her and caressed her wet, smooth cheekbone. She leaned down and kissed the tears on her face which she had caused.

"I'm sorry I'm an idiot.. I'm weak." His eyes darkened. "I'm embarrassed of how weak I am. I should get over all this already but I'm a weak bastard. I feel, I feel embarrassed of my body, I know that sounds absurd but deep in this heart I know that this isn't where I belong. I feel like a prisoner in here and-" Her eyes drowned in sorrow and she gritted her teeth in agitation.

"I don't mind serving you. I love you Princess but deep inside my soul nothing feels right here.. I feel lost and so ..so" she began panting as she felt the tears beginning to accumulate.

"And her…" Fighter grunted and punched the wall. "These stupid feelings that I can't get out of my head! I thought I'd start new again, get her out of my god damn mind as you and I , Healer and Maker built our lovely planet back to how it belongs. Since we fought Galaxia my heart has been burning, like it needs to be unleashed of a power I'm unaware of. Something about her makes something inside of me start pulsating a feeling I can't even control."

Fighter was drenched in tears, she was pouring everything she was holding inside of her to her princess. It was a lot of accumulated emotion that it just came out jumbled and confused. She felt pathetic, but it felt good to let something out, what she could at least.

" I thought I could manage but I failed, I'm so sorry, I guess I'm not as strong as I brag. I just..I want to die..It sickens me that I feel so pathetic and embarrassed of myself for a reason I don't even understand. Since when the hell am I such a pansy? All this going on inside me is too much and I can't grow the fuck up! I'm a disgrace aren't I? Please princess set me free, from my own misery. Please…" the sobbing strengthened.

"I can't do this anymore…princess..I need her, and I don't have the face to look at her after how sick I make myself.. please, rip this heart out.."

"Fighter" Kakyuu slapped her as hard as she could, this was absolutely absurd. How could she ask such a thing. It broke her heart to pieces so see someone she loved so much in such state but this wasn't Fighter, death never a way out. "Don't ever say that again." For the first time Kakyuu's tone was more of a threat than an order.

Kakyuu grabbed Fighter's arm pulling her against herself. Fighter's eyes widened when she realized they're lips had met. It felt odd, like a lot of emotion behind it. It almost felt like a good bye. Figher was stuck between getting slapped and getting kissed and figuring out what expression was suitable for having that done in no less than a few seconds.

Kakyuu had taken Fighter's first kiss as a goodbye to both her and the feelings she felt for Fighter. She realized that letting her go was the best thing to do. It wasn't safe but she couldn't keep her here forever.

With the kiss, the Starlights brooch shattered and the light dimmed. Seiya looked at it and then to his body.

"You're free, Seiya."

_"I can't tell him about his past.. I can't tell him what I know. It's too dangerous.. But… I'm sorry Tomoko. I just can't stand to see him like this…  
Perhaps I'm the weakest ruler of all..._


End file.
